


Of Brothers and Burglary

by Aida



Series: Of Burglars and Warriors [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: A little OOC?, And thinks his brother's an idiot, Balin approves, Bilbo's very proper, Courtship, Fluff, If it is I apologize, M/M, Romance, Some angst, Yes that trope, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 19:09:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1176806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aida/pseuds/Aida
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo wishes to court Dwalin, so he turns to Balin for, not only permission, but for tips on how to properly court the warrior.</p><p>Balin agrees wholeheartedly. </p><p>Then it all goes to pot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Brothers and Burglary

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SORRY MY OTHER STORIES HAVE BEEN KIND OF ABANDONED AT THE MOMENT. I've had major blocks with him, but I'm trying!
> 
> In the end, I hope you like this. I started it a while back and just recently finished it. Just me looking back to an old courtship trope I liked.

Balin was a fierce dwarf. Strong in both body and mind, age doing nothing to dull him. Many had quaked in fear at the sight of him in the past, but he didn’t have to do much to ease said fears. A kind smile and gentle words always did the trick. He didn’t even have to do much to win Bilbo Baggins over. The hobbit, the company burglar, seemed to be quite comfortable with his presence, and the dwarf did what he could to assure him that such confidences weren’t wasted.

So he was understandably confused when Bilbo approached him, fidgeting on his feet and hardly raising his eyes off the ground. 

“Master Balin?” Bilbo asked, voice strong between its cracks.

“Yes, laddie?” He replied. “Is something the matter?”

“Ah-no. No… not really.” Bilbo replied, taking a deep breath and glancing skywards. “I just… I had a few… Questions, really.”

“Well, please. You’re free to ask them.” Balin urged as kindly as he could. “You need not be afraid.”

“Well…” Bilbo muttered before sighing. “It’s just… one isn’t necessarily a… question, per se…”

Now Balin was feeling truly confused. “Oh?”

“Yes, for you see…” Bilbo started before finally locking his wary eyes with Balin’s before flicking them away just slightly. “I don’t know how it works with dwarv- _dwarrows_ , but… when a hobbit wishes… to, well… court…”

Bilbo cut himself off, clearing his throat as his ears turned pink. “They… they need to seek out permission from… family members of the, er…” He continued, voice dying in strength. “Intended.”

Ah.

“I see…” Balin mused, seeing Bilbo continue to fidget. “So, since you’re here talking to me, I assume that you’re ‘intended’ is my brother.”

Bilbo nodded, hands fisting at his sides. “Well… yes.”

Balin had to fight off the biggest grin he ever felt pulling at his lips. He knew that Dwalin had taken quite a fancy to the hobbit (he always had a weakness for the sweet and innocent type), but never dared to do anything. For while he was aware of where his heart lied, he was also aware that his gruff exterior put plenty off, and figured that the poor hobbit was no exception. Balin had tried to talk (and slap) some sense into his brother, but it bared no fruit. So Dwalin kept sending not-so-secret looks of longing towards the hobbit, Thorin went from disgusted to amused, and Balin just hoped that Bilbo would surprise them once again.

He was quite pleased to be right (yet again) and couldn’t wait to tell Dwalin “I told you so”, but he had matters to attend to first. Obviously. 

“I know that you must think it… peculiar, and I don’t know how your kind views pairings of different races, let alone similar gender, but… I do care for your brother, Mister Balin. Very deeply.” Bilbo began to explain in earnest. “And while I will probably be rejected, even if you gave me permission… I wish to try. If anything, just to see if I even…”

“Peace, Bilbo.” Balin assured, hand raised as he moved to stand next to the trembling hobbit and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You have my permission.”

Bilbo blinked, very much taken aback. “R-Really?”

“Indeed.” Balin replied, teeth bright as he grinned back at an equally beaming hobbit. “However, you said you had another question, and I take it that it’s about how our kind courts?”

Bilbo nodded. “Yes, it does.” He stated. “I figured that Dwalin would not know how a hobbit courts, and might feel a bit insulted if I were to give him flowers, so…”

Balin barked a laugh. “Depends on the company, I believe.” He explained. “But I’ll tell you all you need to know, so you may do right by my brother. Which is what he deserves, after all.”

“Of course.” And Balin was grinning again at the earnest expression on Bilbo’s face.

“Alright, then.” He continued, putting a heavy arm around Bilbo’s shoulders. “It all starts with impressing your intended with your skills. If you are a warrior, you challenge someone and have your intended watch as you show your prowess. However, if you’re in a different craft, say being a _burglar_ , that’s another matter entirely…”

**xxx**

Balin had expected Bilbo to act relatively soon, and he also expected that his brother’s reaction would be rather humorous.

What he _wasn’t_ expecting was to wake up to the sound of Dwalin screaming like a bloody _Balrog_ just before dawn only two days after his conversation with the Company’s burglar.

He wasn’t the only one to shoot out of his bedroll, ready to fight off anything the wild was throwing at them. Only, he immediately lowered his sword once he saw Dwalin tossing his things around in a fury. 

Clearly, Bilbo had acted, and from the way the hobbit was rapidly losing color from his face, it was the last reaction he expected from his courting attempts. 

Everyone was up now, surrounding Dwalin as he continued to search through his belongings. Thorin was at the front of the group, but the others easily parted when Balin pushed himself through to join him.

“Dwalin, what is it?” Their leader demanded. “What has gotten you so worked up?”

The warrior rounded on them, eyes bright with anger. “They’re gone!” He snarled, waving his large hands for emphasis. “They’re gone, and there’s not a single trace of them!”

“What’s gone, brother?” Balin demanded, before feeling his eyebrows climb into his hairline once he got a better look at his brother’s hands. His brother’s _bare hands_. “Oh.”

If it were any other time, Balin would be laughing. Granted, he was still amused, and mostly impressed, with the fact that Bilbo had managed to pinch Dwalin’s knuckledusters clean off his own hands. Truly a great feat, and something that would truly impress any intended like his brother, if only for a few key factors.

One, they were in the Wild, and Dwalin was fiercely protective of his armaments in such an environment.

Two, the knuckledusters in question had been a gift from their late father. Something their old man crafted once Dwalin was accepted into the Guard.

And three, of course, was that Dwalin didn’t have any idea anyone would want to court him, let alone go through such extremes to impress him.

In the end, Balin wished he had told Bilbo to not pick something so significant. If only to spare his brother the hysteria, and the hobbit the tears that were clearly brimming his eyes.

“Someone nicked them during the night!” Dwalin growled, now brandishing one of his axes. “Who did it!? Who was dumb enough to steal from me!?”

“Brother-!”

“Come forward, you coward! I’ll give you something to sell for a pretty penny!”

“Brother, _please_!”

“I’ll teach you to never steal from me again, you slimy, good-for-nothing _burglar_!”

“ _Brother_ -!”

“I did it!”

Everyone froze, turning to Bilbo, who immediately bent to retrieve his pack. Balin watched, pained as he saw how the hobbit’s hands shook as he retrieved the knuckledusters from his pack before letting it drop haphazardly to the ground. 

“Burglar?” Thorin pressed, eyes wide as Bilbo held out the missing item. “Burglar, did…”

Balin spared a glance towards Thorin as the dwarf’s eyes widened and he looked towards his advisor, who only nodded sharply at the unasked question. And from the muttered curse he uttered, Balin had a feeling that even Thorin was greatly impressed by such a feat.

Instead of saying anything, Balin looked to his brother, who stared at Bilbo as his anger melted away, lowering his axe to the ground.

“Halfling, you…?” He growled, though there was no heat in his voice.

“I-I’m sorry.” Bilbo stuttered, hands trembling and head ducked down to hide the tears streaming down his face. “I just-! I thought-! He said that this was proper…!”

The Company was muttering amongst themselves now, and Balin had to fight the urge to tell them to go busy themselves. Men and warriors they may be, but they were always hungry for anything filled with drama.

His brother, it seemed, was finally beginning to put the pieces together. “He said it was proper?” He asked dumbly. “Who said? And proper for what?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Bilbo stated, shoving the knuckledusters into Dwalin’s hands. “Just… Just forget it. I… I apologize again. I promise to never… It was foolish of me, anyway…”

Balin bit back a sigh as he scrubbed a hand along his face, looking at Bilbo as the hobbit walked dejectedly back and began to gather his things back. He then looked to his brother, who seemed struck dumb as he looked between his no-longer-burgled wares and the burglar himself. Dwalin managed to lock eyes with him, and he did his best silently communicate with his brother how much he mucked it up.

Because not only did he scare the one being he had showed any interest in and made him burst into tears, but there wasn’t a dwarf alive that could’ve rejected someone so firmly, nor so loudly, since their creation. He might as well have asked the poor burglar to shear all his hair off and throw it into the fire. 

Eventually, Dwalin’s eyes firmed, a hard expression creasing his face. Before Balin could even consider whacking him upside the head, the warrior stomped up to Bilbo and spun him around, shoving his knuckledusters back into the bewildered hobbit’s grasp. 

“I should get Orcrist at this rate.” He heard Thorin mutter, for they all knew what was about to happen, especially since Dwalin had went back to his things and pulled out both his axes, brandishing them with a flourish Balin hadn’t seen in ages. And of course Thorin would want to go for Orcrist, because they had been practicing for this day since they were children not long after being taught the ways. They had sworn to be the ones they would turn to when they had to prove themselves, to impress their intendeds with their craft.

But Thorin was still greatly injured after his encounter with the Orcs, and Dwalin really needed to prove himself now. He couldn’t rightly do it by going against his good, yet greatly injured friend.

“Dori!” But of course, when Dwalin made a mistake, he went above and beyond to fix it to the point of being insensible. “I challenge you to a duel to prove my strength!”

Balin looked to Dori, even as he heard the dwarf’s youngest sibling chatter excitedly. For it was an honor to be asked to duel in such a way. But Dori was one of the strongest member’s of their group, even stronger than Dwalin. He just hoped that the mithril-haired dwarf had a sense to possibly direct such a challenge towards someone who wouldn’t pummel the warrior into the dirt.

“What say you?”

Dori merely lifted his chin, taking his weapon when Nori procured it for him. “I accept.”

Balin muttered curses into his sleeve, even as the rest of the company, save Dwalin, Dori, and Thorin, began chattering excitedly as the two dueling dwarrows headed for a clearing not far from their campsite, eventually following to see the show.

“I don’t-!” Bilbo sputtered as he approached Balin, who hung back with Thorin as the leader seemed to silently pout. “I mean-What’s going on now?”

“As you have gone and went beyond to prove your worth to my brother, Bilbo, so does my brother.” He explained, throwing the pale hobbit a tight smile.

The pale hobbit went even paler. “B-But Dori’s so strong!” He sputtered. “I-I mean, I know he didn’t react… But…!”

“He wrongly accused you of doing something without good intention, and rejected you because of it.” Thorin explained, his voice more of a rumble. “He has a lot to make up for.”

Bilbo huffed, wringing his hands on the knuckledusters in his grasp. “He’s going to get himself killed!”

“Dori won’t go that far. Now,” Balin said, patting Bilbo solidly on the back as he guided them towards the excitement. “We must go witness their duel, Bilbo. It’s only right, I’m afraid.”

Bilbo made a noise that seemed to be a cross between a groan and a whimper. “Where’s Gandalf when you need him!?”

“Off not getting involved in duels, I suspect.” Thorin stated. “If anything, I’m sure Dwalin will hold his own rather well. Dori is quite strong, but Dwalin is also. If anything, there might be a tie.”

**xxx**

While both dwarrows had sustained a number of cuts and bruises, one thing was for certain: Dwalin was very much defeated.

He had held his own well enough, and got back up even when it seemed he didn’t have anymore fight left in him, but Dori beat him every time before he was forced to yield for fear that they wouldn’t be able to travel to Gandalf’s friend’s house, let alone Erebor.

Balin looked at his brother as he sat at the edge of camp, bloody, bruised, and brooding. Truly, he was sulking, but he knew that more than his brother’s body was injured that day. And now he was left to sit with a multitude of rejections on his shoulders.

But there was still a way to make things right.

“What do I do now?” Bilbo asked him, also looking towards Dwalin. “I mean, he lost! Does that mean that we can’t… court…?”

“Many possible pairings have ended at this point, laddie.” Balin informed him, and he watched Bilbo’s face fall. “However, it doesn’t have to be that way.”

“Really?” Bilbo asked. “How?”

“Well, there’s one thing that you can do…” Balin began, only to stop when Bilbo’s face began to pale yet again.

“I don’t have to steal from him again, do I?” He asked. “I don’t think I could do that, and I don’t want Dwalin to fight someone to impress me again, either!”

“You won’t have to!”

They turned to see Oin walk over, a bag in hand that he pressed into Bilbo’s own.

“There’s some bandages and salves in here.” The healer described. “Simply go over and offer to tend to his wounds.”

“R-Really?” Bilbo asked. “That’s it? No more stealing or fighting?”

Balin smiled, a little pleased that he was getting help in this endeavor. “Indeed.” He answered. “Those who still wish to court a warrior who lost in battle, or in this case a duel, may help tend to their wounds to show that they still wish to court and be courted. It shows that you are willing to help care for them when they fall.”

They watched as he mulled over this before clenching his jaw and, with a stiff nod, walk across camp to Dwalin’s side. Balin saw the look his brother sent Bilbo, a mixture disbelief and hope that he rarely saw in his eyes.

He let a deep breath of relief when Dwalin nodded and Bilbo finally sat next to him, going through the supplies and getting to work. 

“About time.” Oin grumbled, and Balin quirked an eyebrow as the healer shrugged. “I think we were all tired of them acting like idiots. Of course, it would be the hobbit who’d make the first move.”

“With my brother, of course he would.” He replied, smiling when he saw Dwalin lean down and touch his forehead to Bilbo’s, seeing how the hobbit, tangled his little fingers in his beard in response. “Though I wish he would’ve picked someone other than Dori to prove his worth with.”

They turned around when they heard Thorin grumble from his spot propped against a tree. “Another reason why he should’ve picked _me_.”

“Not with those ribs, he shouldn’t have!”

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda want to make a series of this, BUT I SHOULDN'T BECAUSE I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DOOOO!


End file.
